Rationale
I wrote a blog entry titled “Now I Know…” that’s write by Amir explaining why he ran away when Hassan was getting raped, because I wanted to give some explanation to the people that thought that Amir was a bad friend in the first place.
This Blog entry is straightly connected to the novel showing a “behind the scenes” an some of the future years in Sohrab, Amir and Soraya’s lives.
This text is about why Amir didn’t interrupt Hassan’s rape expressed in a Blog entry that helps to understand Amir’s dealing including the things that my have happened if Amir had interrupted and helped Hassan. This text is targeted to the people that read the book and want to know more about the story using informal and formal types of language. Helping to connect some part of the story that are little confusing.
Now I Know…
July 3rd 2002 03:45AM
I was a coward, till today I didn’t know why I didn’t do anything when Assef raped Hassan for not giving him the kite that we won in the tournament, that he won for me, I just wanted Baba’s love, that was all, I just didn’t know he always gave me all his love.
When Hassan was getting raped I didn’t realize what was going on, but I wanted to stop that, I was scared of dishonoring Baba in a fight but at the same time I wanted to go there and help my best friend, my brother, my half brother. Now I know that Assef would not have been so brutal with me, but no, I wanted to impress Baba with a simple kite instead of saving my best friend and dealing with the thought of why I could have done to help Hassan.
I am writing this blog entry at this time of the night because I was having a dream of that moment, it was not like other dreams that looked exactly like like the moment of Hassan’s rape, the same feelings but this time was from a different perspective, it was the same back alley, the same position of the elements involved in that place, but this time I was in Hassan’s body an Hassan was in mine. The firs time I dreamed of this, Hassan did the same thing that I did to him, but the second time that I had the same dream Hassan saved me but Assef and his crew started hitting and kicking us in the floor but Hassan suffered more, because Assef wanted to hit me…
I woke up and started writing these two dreams in a pies of paper and then to this Blog. Now I will spend all my time that I can with Sohrab thinking that i a part of Hassan, I will try to protect him and give him all the things that he will possibly need to start again.
The other day I listened to Sohrab’s voice for the first time since he tried to commit suicide and go to Allah’s gardens with Hassan and Farzana, he was talking alone in his room saying “I will make you proud Father”.
I was shocked when he said that, so I entered his room and I hugged him so happily, it was like listening to Hassan again, so I said, you will always make him proud,he has always been proud of you.
Tomorrow I will go to walk with Sohrab and Soraya and thwart we will tell all the things that happened with Hassan in Kabul. I wish that Hassan was here, but I, as a kid, was stupid and instead of helping him to start again I kicked him out of my life.
I will say to the people that read “The Kite Runner” that as a child I just wanted to make Baba Happy, forgetting of the other people that was around me, so when I acted like that in the back alley it was only for Baba’s love, but at the end I made a hole in Baba’s strong heart.
Sohrab is here listening quietly to my key strokes trying to understand why I am here writing this, maybe he will red this blog one of this days and he will understand why Hassan said to me “For you a thousand times over”.
